Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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