Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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