He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
