dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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