Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Houston, we have a squirter
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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