I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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