idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
