How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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