Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
