If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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