is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
