Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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