Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
try to milk me bitch
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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