i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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