this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
