I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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