time to smoke my breakfast
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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