What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
