I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
