I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
