her vagine was all disorganized.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
