That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
