why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
