At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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