Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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