What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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