Sponge bath it is.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
