when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
