after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
