Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
