last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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