Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
