just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
