I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
