**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
