Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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