Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
