Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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