just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
