So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Someone shit on the floor
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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