I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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