the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
