honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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