I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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