I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
4 words: hood of his car
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
