New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
