Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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