Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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