So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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