1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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