That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Randomize
