I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
