We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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